Dream Deferred
by Cimz
Summary: On the day Allie and Johnny are born, Lucas is frightened by a vision of his daughter's future. But it's hard to get time alone with your nightmares when you're the father of a Horton-Roberts-Brady child. Complete ficlet. (Companion ficlet The Hairbrush features Sami and Johnny.) Written/set 2007.


**Rating:** G

**Disclaimer:** Lucas, his wife, his children, and his family all belong to NBC and Ken Corday. No disrespect to Langston Hughes intended by the title, which comes from his famous poem. The story itself is my own creation, although it relates directly to Lucas' fantasy sequence in the October 25, 2007 episode of Days of Our Lives.

**Companion Fic**: The Hairbrush is a Sami/Johnny fic to go along with this Lucas/Allie fic.

* * *

The infant cried in Lucas' arms. She was so new to the world that he and Sami hadn't managed to name her yet, let alone get to know her or understand what made her cry. Her twin brother was already called Johnny; there had been no other possibility, not with the babies being born the day after John Black's funeral. The little girl, though, had defied their combined efforts to label her. Before her birth, they had considered Colleen and then Laney. Sami had thought for a while that her initials should match her brother's, but neither Julia nor Jane seemed right. And Lucas had _had_ to veto Jezebel.

"Hey. Hey," Lucas soothed his new daughter. "Hey, Hon, what's the matter? What's the matter with my little girl, huh? What? Shh. You getting hungry? Is that it?"

The baby's whimpers slowed, and she stared at Lucas in a way that was both fixed and unfocused. A chill ran down his spine.

This was the daughter he had wanted for at least ten years, ever since he had finally put his relationship with his firstborn, Will, on the right track. But for all that she was wanted, loved, and dreamed about, she frightened him.

His own mother had told him many times about his own birth, about how while all of her children had been beautiful, she'd known he was special. Ordinarily, he attributed such statements to Kate wanting something from him. Now, though, he knew what she meant. Will had been amazing; Johnny was cute enough. He couldn't have loved either of them more. But when the little girl looked at him with eyes that hadn't quite adjusted to the outside world, he saw something special. He saw that she, like he, was doomed—and he saw that she knew it.

As if by magic, his daughter showed him the future.

He saw her at the age of six and suffering one disappointment after another. Her grades were never quite high enough to meet the goals she had set for herself. Her violin lessons didn't compare to the ones Sami's rapist had purchased for her Johnny. He couldn't afford the horse she so wanted. She began to hate him.

He saw her at the age of sixteen as she began her life as an outcast. From her mother, she had inherited an eating disorder; from her father, she had inherited alcoholism. Self-loathing was bequeathed to her by both parents. She sat friendlessly in Brady's Pub as Johnny called her names.

He saw her at the age of twenty-six as she stood before his grave. He had been weak, and he had been alone, and even for her he hadn't been able to go on. The rapist—even the rapist was a better father than he was. _"Why are you a drunk?" _Johnny taunted.

Lucas returned to the present only when a nurse arrived to whisk the twins away for a bath. That was all right; he hadn't wanted to see more. He knew it ended with his daughter dead in a gutter, or perhaps burned to a crisp, too drunk to save herself from the raging fire. Possibly she lived out some years in the psych ward with a wet brain? Or she might get behind the wheel with her flask in her hand and drive the wrong way down the highway, taking others with her when she went.

In the bed, Sami slept on. Labor had exhausted her. Lucas planted a shaky kiss on her forehead and slipped from her suddenly claustrophobic room into the waiting area.

What he really needed was a meeting, but if he left Sami unprotected, the rapist or one of the other DiMeras would arrive to threaten her. It wouldn't matter if he was vacationing in Tahiti or talking to other drunks and addicts in the meeting room on the second floor; either way, an abandoned Sami was a Sami who would be subjected to yet another round of _marry me or your family will die._

He collapsed into a plastic chair near Sami's door and buried his head in his hands, which were still trembling. He had to pull himself together before Sami awoke and saw him like this. They had to be strong together—strong for Will, Johnny, and the doomed little girl. They never had more than a few moments' peace before threats started coming from every side.

No sooner had the thought entered his head than a threat arrived.

"Lucas!"

He didn't bother to raise his eyes to look at her. She wasn't worth the effort. "Mom, didn't I already tell you to leave once today?"

Kate ignored him, as she almost always did. "What's wrong?" She knelt on the dusty floor before him and took his face in her hands, forcing his eyes to meet hers. They had the same dark eyes; the same dark eyes that would be inherited by his daughter. "Oh, God, Lucas. Is it one of the twins? Will? Did something happen to Sami? Baby, you're scaring me!"

"Please leave," he managed, for what seemed like the thousandth time in the past month alone.

"I will not leave. I will not leave when my son is sitting here looking like someone just died."

He bared his teeth at her; it was, in his present state, the closest he could come to producing a grin. "I'm happy. Thrilled. Father of three healthy children. Now will you go?"

She watched him shrewdly. "I'll tell you what. Because I am your mother, I will give you what you want no matter how much it hurts me. I will leave this hospital instead of visiting my new grandchildren. And I will do this on one condition."

"What?" asked Lucas warily.

"Tell me what's bothering you."

Lucas looked her square in the eye. "I can't afford a horse for my daughter," he told her. Kate had been the one who had taught Lucas how to lie at a very young age. She also knew him better than anyone in the world, save Sami and Will. As ludicrous as his claim sounded when he spoke it aloud, she would know he spoke the truth, and hopefully she would keep her word and leave.

_Hope,_ Nietzsche wrote, _in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man._

Kate didn't keep her word and leave. Keeping her word wasn't one of her many talents. _Leaving_ wasn't one of her many talents, either. Instead, she collapsed breathlessly in the hard plastic chair next to Lucas. "My God, Baby, you frightened me. I thought it was something we couldn't fix. I'll buy her the horse."

Lucas sat bolt upright and found that his trembling had stopped. Arguing with his mother was something he did so often that it had almost become soothing. "You aren't going to buy her anything. Not a silver rattle, and not a horse."

"You're being ridiculous. You've worked yourself into a state because you think your daughter will want something you can't give her, so I'm offering to provide it. Why is that a problem?"

Lucas jumped to his feet and pointed toward the red exit sign. "Get out!"

He must have commanded a little too loudly, because several heads turned in their direction. One of those heads belonged to Marlena Evans Black. "What's the problem, Lucas?" she asked, pointedly ignoring the woman she had once counted as one of her closest friends.

"No problem. My mother was just leaving."

Kate rolled her eyes at Marlena. "Lucas doesn't want me to buy my own granddaughter a horse."

Marlena remained unmoved. "After the way you behaved at her birth, Kate, I'm not surprised."

"I wanted to—"

"You wanted to barge uninvited into my house and bring along the man who raped my daughter and murdered my husband? Yes, I know that's what you wanted. You always do exactly what you want without giving a thought to who else it might affect. No, I don't blame Lucas for not wanting you to be involved in his daughter's life. In fact," and Marlena turned to look at Lucas "If anyone is going to buy my granddaughter a horse, I think it should be me."

"I had the idea first!" Kate objected.

"I delivered that baby!"

Lucas was just wondering whether he should intervene when he felt a tap on his shoulder. There stood his brother Philip, looking worn but rather bemused. "I was visiting Tyl—I mean, I was visiting a friend and one of the orderlies told me Mom might be causing a problem. As usual," Philip said by way of explanation. "What are they fighting about?"

"Which one of them is going to buy my daughter a horse."

Philip took this revelation in stride. Kate had fought with stranger opponents over stranger things. "Ladies?" he interrupted, with one hand on Marlena's arm and one hand on Kate's. "I think I have a solution."

"Philip, this has nothing to do with you," Kate warned.

As Kate had taught Lucas to lie, so had she taught Philip to ignore people who asked him to stay out of things that were none of his business. "I live in a mansion with its own stable. Claire already has a pony there, so it would make the most sense for my niece's pony to live where it would have company. And since she'd have to get a pony that gets along with Berry, I might as well just choose it and buy it myself."

Philip's phone buzzed in his pocket, and he answered it before Kate or Marlena could object to his plan. "Billie!... No, that's just Mom and Marlena arguing over who's going to buy Sami and Lucas' kid a horse… I don't think she's had the babies yet."

Kate, Marlena, and Lucas all confirmed that they were in fact arguing over the equine preferences of a baby who was several hours old, rather than those of a baby who was still inside her mother's body. Billie's shriek of "Why didn't anyone tell me?" was clearly audible to Lucas, who was several feet away. Philip closed the gap between them in one long stride and pulled Lucas into a bear hug. "You didn't tell me! I would've been handing out cigars! Do they have names?"

"John Roman for the boy. The girl is being difficult."

"Like her mother," Philip said, but the words had no bite. "So you have to referee a fight over who buys her a horse before you get a chance to name her. Sounds about right."

"It was my own fault," Lucas admitted. He drew Philip away from Kate and Marlena so they could talk privately. "I—you know, with Claire, and Tyler out there somewhere. You know how you worry about everything, and with that damn rapist lurking around, saying Johnny looks more like him than like me— and he has all the money in the world. If he is Johnny's biological father—"

"He's not!"

"If he is, Johnny will have everything, even Sami if she goes through with marrying a DiMera to save her family. My little girl will have—"

_"Everything." _Philip's voice was low and intense. "I've seen you with Will. You're a great father. When I first had Claire and I wasn't sure what to do, I thought about you lots of times."

"Really?"

"Of course. Your daughter is lucky to have you, just like your sons."

"I'll second that, even if you did forget to tell me I have a new niece and nephew!" Billie had arrived, and she, too, pulled Lucas into a hug. "Where are they?"

"Having a bath," Lucas managed, still rather taken aback by this bizarre influx of family members. "You should be able to see them soon."

"I can't wait." An almost rapturous look passed over Billie's face. "I bet they're beautiful. Will was just gorgeous, I remember those first few baby pictures I got when I was living in Paris." She grinned reminiscently. "So your daughter already has plans to become a champion horseback rider?"

Lucas shook his head. "I don't need her to be some kind of prodigy."

"Of course you don't need her to be. But with you as her father, I think she's going to be a champion." Philip nodded in agreement. Lucas began to feel annoyed that his brother and sister were taking this so lightly.

"A champion drunk, maybe."

"Lucas!" They favored him with the appalled look they had inherited from Kate, along with their addictive personalities.

"It runs in the family," he pointed out. He refrained from reminding Billie that she would once have given anything for her next fix, and Philip that he had once had his head split open because he hadn't been able to stop himself from betting money he didn't have.

"And you'll tell her that when she's old enough to understand, so she'll be extra careful," said Billie quietly. "But _if_, and that's a big _if_, she ever started to go down that path, her overbearing Auntie Billie would march her cute little butt into an AA meeting."

"As would her Aunt Maggie," said another quiet voice. Lucas turned to see her smiling serenely. A bouquet of roses rested in her arms. As odd as it was to see the rest of his family appearing, it was somehow perfectly expected that Maggie would be there, whether he'd remembered to call her or not (and he hadn't).

"Thank you for coming," he told her.

"I wouldn't be anywhere else." When most people said things like that, Lucas figured that they were being polite. When Maggie said things like that, he believed her. "Mickey is parking the car. Doug and Julie were sidetracked, but they're on their way." Then, under the guise of the mandatory hug, she whispered in his ear. "I worried about the alcoholism gene when Sarah was born, too. I told you about how I lost Janice. But Sarah is fine, and so is your daughter."

"I just keep having this image of my daughter sitting all alone in the Brady Pub, just sitting there and taking it while the boys come in and—you know how teenage boys can be."

Maggie pulled back to appraise Lucas more carefully. She seemed to be hiding a smile, but at least she hadn't laughed outright like Kate had, or flatly denied that there was a problem, like Billie and Philip. "I also know how Bradys can be. Do you really think Shawn and Caroline—or any future proprietor of that restaurant—would stand for a Brady great-grandchild to be insulted? Any boy who looked at her in a way she didn't like would be out on his ear. Any boy who looked at her in a way she _did_ like might be out on his ear."

Lucas was trying to remember what reception he had received at the Pub when he'd been seventeen and hanging around Sami and Carrie when the Brady contingent arrived. Shawn and Caroline were there along with Roman, Steve, Kayla, Bo and Hope. Bo was complaining loudly that the babies couldn't possibly need baths because they weren't old enough to have gotten dirty. Hope held their daughter Ciara tightly in her arms. All except Ciara offered Lucas their congratulations in turn. (Hope extended congratulations and a request for a playdate on Ciara's behalf.) This done, they drifted over toward Marlena and Kate. Maggie, Philip, and Billie stayed firmly glued to Lucas' side in what was now a very crowded waiting room.

"How did my kids end up related to so many people?" Lucas asked.

"They're still coming, too." Philip's warning was unnecessary, because all of a sudden Lucas' arms were full of Will—Will, who had objected to hugging his father in public except under extreme circumstances for at least six years.

"Are they okay? Where are they? I wanted to be here when they were born!"

"I'm sorry, Bud. It happened too fast. I barely got to your grandma's house in time. We didn't make it to the hospital until Marlena had delivered them both."

"They couldn't have waited?"

"Well, not everyone decides to be born by c-section after a couple of days of labor."

Will had heard similar comments before. "It wasn't a couple of days. And it wasn't my fault!"

Lucas raised an eyebrow in tribute to Sami's stepfather. "Really? Whose fault was it, then?"

Will slumped against the wall, a perfect portrait of teenage exasperation, and gave the answer he always gave at this point in the conversation. "I'm sorry, Dad. I don't remember what I was thinking." They both started laughing at the same moment. "When are they coming back?" Will asked, all mock-sullenness gone. "I have so much to tell them."

"Like what?" Lucas had been close to Will's age when Philip had arrived, but he didn't remembered having had much to say to him.

"Like, do not let Mom and Dad near the computer, they'll just mess it up."

"Hey!"

"And, you know, that I'll always be there to protect them. I'd never let anything happen to them. I'd beat up anyone who tried." As far as Lucas knew, the last time Will had been in a fight had been years before, when half of their family had been suspects in a string of killings. Lucas wasn't entirely sure Will had won that time, either. But it was a nice thought, all the same.

Will seemed to sense Lucas' skepticism, because he said "Uncle Austin worked on boxing with me this summer. But I don't just mean protect them like that. I mean protect them from all kinds of things."

Lucas' vision of his daughter kneeling at his grave came rushing back. Abruptly, his eyes began to burn and his throat threatened to swell shut. "How did you get here?" he asked to cover the fact that he didn't think he was capable of telling Will that he knew he would be the best big brother any twins ever had.

Will gestured vaguely, and for the first time Lucas noticed that Will had been followed in by Stephanie, Max, Nick, and Chelsea.

"We came to meet my new cousins," Chelsea declared.

"They're my cousins, too," said Nick and Stephanie at the same time.

"My cousins _two_ ways," said Chelsea proudly. "I win."

"Thanks for bringing Will over," Lucas told them.

"No problem," said Max. "And if Will ever needs any help with that protecting thing, we'll be around for that, too."

"Nick _loves_ protecting children at all costs," put in Chelsea. It did not sound like a compliment, and Nick didn't appear to take it as one. Something unspoken passed between Max and Chelsea, though, and she added, with obvious effort, "That's one of the great things about Nick. Most people don't go out of their way. I don't. I mean, if the babies ever needed help, and Sami and Lucas weren't there for some reason, I wouldn't let them starve or anything, but—"

"Quit while you're behind," advised Max, and Chelsea did. It was just as well, because suddenly the crowded, raucous room fell silent. Lucas only knew one person who had that effect on a Brady-Horton gathering.

"I understand I'm a great-grandmother again," said Alice as she leaned on Doug's and Julie's arms.

"Twice. John Roman Roberts and Baby Girl Roberts," Lucas announced.

"You'll consider changing the girl's name?"

"Since you asked me to, Gran." As Lucas leaned over to kiss his grandmother's cheek, he noticed the nurse maneuvering a double bassinet behind the crowd. "Can you bring them over here?" he asked.

The nurse looked as if she might object to displaying two infants to two dozen visitors in a waiting room, but she caught sight of Alice Horton and obeyed immediately. John Roman remained asleep as his family filed quietly past his bassinet.

The girl, of course, opened her eyes. She gave Lucas the same all-knowing look she had given him when he'd held her in Sami's small hospital room.

"You're wrong," he told her through their psychic connection. "You've got a whole army here ready to keep that from happening." He took her in his arms and held her so that Alice could kiss the top of her head.

"Bless you," said Alice to the baby. "You are loved."

Once again, the baby began to cry. Once again, Lucas held her against his shoulder. Alice gestured impatiently at him. "Take the baby in to her mother, Lucas. The rest of us will continue our celebration without you."

Lucas obeyed. Will and Johnny were already in Sami's room. As Lucas and his daughter crossed the threshold, the family of five was together for the first time.

And outside, there was a family of what seemed like hundreds ready to make sure they stayed that way.

**The End**


End file.
